I remember catching snippets of the television drama "Thirty Something" and thinking that those characters were so old. A life with a house, marriage, and kids was so far away. Now I'm a thirty-something.
And I have a baby. Mind-blowing.
So last year on my birthday I had my get-ready routine down to 20 minutes. Thirty minutes if I blowed-dried. I liked to slow it down to an hour and include breakfast, but if I reached for the snooze alarm one too many times, 20 minutes and I was out the door.
One year later this is the routine:
Put contacts in before shower so I can save baby in case of emergency.
Shower while baby sits in bouncy seat.
Get water in eyes causing contacts to move out of place. Blink ferociously.
Continue shower. Forgot face wash at sink.
Step out of shower, flooding floor, smile at baby, get face wash and return.
Finish shower and rejoice that baby did not start crying. Immediately following rejoice baby cries.
Brush teeth and dance around in front of baby.
Apply deodorant. Baby cries.
Change diaper and put on new baby clothes.
Return baby to bouncy seat.
Put on moisturizer. Baby fusses.
Give pacifier.
Stare blindly in closet. Realize that the three shirts and two pairs of pants that currently fit are in laundry pile. Pull yesterday's pants from laundry pile. Find T-shirt that's too tight and decide to wear zip-up hoodie over it. Get dressed.
Baby fusses. Pacifier has fallen out of mouth. Replace pacifier.
Comb hair. Baby fusses. Pacifier has fallen out of mouth. Replace pacifier.
No time for blow-dry. Apply mousse. Baby fusses. Pacifier out. Replace pacifier. Baby spits out pacifier. Try again. Same result. Bounce the bouncy seat up and down.
Powder face. Baby cries.
Talk silly until crying stops.
Apply eyeliner. Apply mascara to one eye. Baby cries. Repeat all previous actions. No change.
Nurse baby. Burp baby.
Put baby in bouncy seat.
Apply mascara to other eye.
Baby fusses. Give pacifier.
Put on shoes and take baby downstairs. Eventually make it out the door.
Total time = two hours
Cute post!
ReplyDeleteI'm impressed that you put on all that makeup. Me? Moisturizer and lip gloss. I look like a slob, but we get out the door on time.
Also, I've started watching Thirtysomething on netflix, and while the styles are different, everything else is EXACTLY THE SAME.